Young Man; Work in Progress

I am for sure, a very young yet mature teenager. I have experienced things that not even some adults have had to hassle with. In time though, there is still a lot that I need to learn in life. I do need to learn that not everyone that you ‘count on’ will always be there for you, nor you them. People come and go – people change. But it’s always the good-times that you have to stand by and remember. I always have a hard time forgetting my pasts. Be it; relationships, experiences, hurt, happiness, etc. I know that the past is the past and the present is the present, but sometimes you always need to hold on to your past just to learn what you need to look for in the future. Life isn’t planned out. Life doesn’t have any rulebook or any guidelines. There is no itinerary for it. Life is just…. Life. One day at a time, step by step.

I am a knowledgeable  16 year-old who knows what he wants to do in life, where he wants to go, how he wants his family to be… Though, you just can’t always plan it out – it’s not always going to happen the way you may have it planned in your head. You may be so inevitably set to do something, but it’s not always going to turn out the way you plan. I’ve barley had time to live as a teenager, and I’ve spent most of my teenage years living as a grown adult. I don’t know what it’s like to truly experience the whole “teenage” phase. I’m very hardworking, maybe too hardworking. I got a job before I was even of legal age to work – simply because I wanted to be apart of the “adult” world and do what the adults do. I’ve held on to the same job for a year now, even though it is very easy to just go and get a better job. You have to start low to finish high.

Not everyone knows what they want to be when they grow up. That’s okay! You have lots of years to go before you start realizing what you really want to do with your life; if you don’t find out by then, then you are just lazy. I’ve always been the kind to never give up, never back down, and always stand up for what I feel is right. That’s how it should be though. No one in life should have to sit there and get pushed around by someone without standing up for themselves. You know, I want to be a Journalist when I grow up, and people always tell me that it doesn’t pay good money. First, I don’t care about the money. Second, I’m not going to work a job I hate to work just so I can get paid good money. And third, I could someday be a famous Journalist and make “bank” (it’s nice to dream.) Then again, what is good money? Good money to you could be something totally different to someone else – someone who actually lives in the real world, and has to really work for their money.

What I’m kind of trying to get at here is, people have a set life for themselves, but they shouldn’t. If you set your life up, and it doesn’t turn out the way you plan, then you are disappointed – leading an unhappy life in the end. I no longer have a “set” plan, but I have a set goal. I have a set goal to graduate school, go to college, and study to take the initiative steps into becoming a Journalist. I’m a young man; work in progress.

Love.

Why is it, that after all of these months – I try to hate someone so much, so deeply, that in the end… I still love the person…? You know, people do wrong in their lives. They tell lies, they cheat, they steal. You always know though – you always know when a person really truly loves you. I was always too scared to love, too scared to trust, too scared to commit to something. Not this time though, this time I was taught all of that, and much much more. Someone once wrote to me in a letter, “Don’t forget the things that I have tried to teach you. Don’t forget that love truly is the key to life. Let love be the song of your heart. Don’t forget to forgive people, especially those that you love. No one is perfect and we all need a littlehelp from time to time. Don’t judge people before you get to know them. If you do you might have just missed the chance to get to know someone great. Even if you think you know them, truly get to know them. Smile. Smile even on those days when it seems hard to. Just remember that you are loved and the future you have before you is going to be great. Don’t complain about little petty things. Enjoy that you have another day to be alive, even when those days are tough. Pray Kyle.. Pray pray pray. Someone’s listening. I promise. Most of all, live life Kyle. Live it and love it for whatever it is to you and the things you get to do in it. You never know when it might be over.” (I’m sure this person knows who they are.) I was taught so much about myself and others in just 9 months. I started looking at the world differently, I started to become happier as a person and as a whole.

What I’m getting at though is, no one in this world is perfect. Love is never perfect. Life is not perfect. You’re not perfect. But, there is always someone perfect for each other and it is inevitable that they are meant to be. You have to role with the punches and see where life takes you. It’s a journey – a journey that will never end. I know this blog was kind of pointless, but I just had to let some things out; even though I didn’t let everything I wanted to, out.

The Thoughts and Everything In Between

Where have I been for the past two weeks with this whole “blogging experience”? I’ve been away. I’ve been away thinking. I’ve had all the time in the world to write a blog, but it has been too hard to write one with so much on my mind, and to find the right things to say. I will start with – Oregon. I moved to Oregon about two (2) weeks ago. I got a job my first full day here. You know, Oregon is a beautiful place, but not a place that I see myself living in. I feel so trapped here. I feel like I’m in a cage just waiting to be let out and free from it all. I feel like it’s a privilege. I don’t like knowing that I can’t just call up one of my friends and go over and hangout. I don’t feel like I belong here, I fell like no one likes me here. I walk into a store, and all eyes are on me. Does Vegas have a scent? Because if it does, then people know how to smell it out from a mile away. When I lived in Vegas, I felt comfortable and a lot more confident. Living here, I feel like walking with my head down in shame. I keep living in la-la land, thinking that this is just a Summer vacation and that I will be back home in Vegas pretty soon. I sit at home everyday feeling like a shameless bum because I have nothing better to do than sit on the computer. Now, I will begin with Vegas. I had some friends in Vegas. I had some ‘close’ friends that didn’t say goodbye to me before I left. Honestly, I could care less anymore because I am done with them and I don’t need them in my life whatsoever. I bent over backwards for them, and I get treated like shit because of it. I’m too much of a good person to be treated like that. 9 years and 5 years both down the drain. This now leads to Ignorance. I’m not a preacher, nor will I ever be; but if one thing bothers me the most, it’s ignorance. What country do we live in? The UNITED States of America… Why do I feel like we’re not all “United”? It’s because we’re not. Everyone stands their different grounds in this country. For example, gay rights. There are many gay people fighting in our war right now for our country. Though, why should they fight for our country when people don’t ‘approve’ of homosexuality? It’s ignorance. Black people. Why do a lot of black people think that they are better and that they can do whatever? It’s because they find themselves more “intimidating” and “threatening” – That’s why I don’t take it anymore. Rich People. What makes you think you’re better than everyone else? The only thing that is remotely “better” about yourself is that you have more money. IGNORANCE. I’ve learned that living in Oregon, there is a lot of ignorance floating around here. I don’t appreciate it at all. It’s pretty sad when people are too scared to go out of their own house to a grocery store because they have to fear getting called profound names. People have to start realizing that not everything and everyone is perfect in this world – neither are themselves. Just because you were brought up “Old-Fashion” doesn’t mean that you have to stay that way because to you, it’s “right.” Be rebellious for Christ-sakes! But let me just say, we won’t stop fighting. We never will stop fighting. And the sad truth is, that in America, fighting is the answer to receive peace. So to you, who disagree on what I am saying – that’s fine, you’re entitled to your opinions. But, opinions then lead to respect; so, respect my decision on what I have to say. I am a 16 year old teenager – not your next president.